Saturday, January 31, 2009

Dog Reference Page

This is really, really not going to be a dog blog. (a dlog?)
But I am a DOG PERSON.
In deference to those who are not, tho I doubt I know you, I'm just putting all the doggy backstory on one page so I don't go on ad nauseum, in future posts I'll try to refer to this page rather than repeat myself.
I like and have owned cats too, but I still relate to them as if they were dogs, like very sarcastic and aloof dogs, because cats are much funnier that way, and more likable. If I relate to cats on their own merits, I wonder why I'm paying for food for this creature that doesn't seem to like me much. Sort of like doing book reports for the cute boy even though he still won't talk to me at lunch.
Which I did, I think. Maybe not. I'll post about the phenomenon of Confabulation later.
These are the hounds at present time.

A) house dogs, also know as The Inner Dogs

Brutus (left) beagleoid mutt, son of Lucy. aka "Brute Squad," "Brutappotamus," "Dumba**"
I make disgusting baby-talk when addressing him. He and Ouachie developed a mutual loathing and try to kill each other whenever they meet. Not hyperbole, we have the vet bills to prove it. Suffice it to say that they no longer meet. Brutus being otherwise not aggressive, and of a sleepy and sweet disposition, is allowed in the house.
Like his sister, (see Brot) Brutus intercepted a car one day. Suffered a modest hematoma on his brow, and a dislocated hip. The Vet and I speculate that if it hadn't hit his head first (his densest and least used appendage) the car would have killed him. Hip ball later removed without any apparent loss of function.

Lucy Goosey (right) street beagle, aka "Babymama," "Bag Lady," "Dollface," "Scarface"
The source of Brutus and Brot. Lucy was adopted by me (sucker) one cold February day, when I found her scrounging in a restaurant dumpster, so pregnant her belly could not clear the ground. At the time she still had both eyes. (she's not winking.) Happiest dog ever, despite being mostly deaf, mostly toothless, and increasingly blind (she often mistakes coats hanging on hooks for actual human beings. Maybe she's being sarcastic.)[Edit: Maybe she's a cat.]

B) And these are the outside dogs, aka The Outer Dogs, The Dogs of Insanity:

Ouachita (left). aka "Ouachie," "Catkiller," "S***head!"
(Ouachie is pronouced watchee -- when they were younger my nieces kept calling him Lookit)
Labbish mutt. Maybe Chowish. Stray acquired in Arkansas. He was my darling boy in younger years but through mismanagement has become aggressive, therefore canis non grata. Still love him but he's been banished to the kennel and is largely my husband's dog now, keeps him company in the shop.

Brotweiler (right) aka "Brot," "Magic Jumping Dog" A beagleoid mutt. Lucy's daughter. The name was a toss up, we tried "beagleweiler," but "Brot" won, mostly because it was a matched set with "Brut", her brother. This dog jumped --not climbed --a five foot fence a number of times. Since recovering from a car-induced broken pelvis, her superpowers have been reduced to that of mortal dogs. I saw the x-ray. I still can't believe she can walk, much less run, cavort, and tackle Ouatchie and Brutus. She is crazed and inexhaustible but good-natured.

B & B s car traumas make me wonder --- how many bones does a dog really need? How many do you have to remove to render them non-functional? I'm not saying I want to.

Item the First

Why does my dog want to eat this?

This is he. (Brutus). Unlike all other dogs of my acquaintance, he is deeply cautious about ingesting the time-honored and definitively-carnivorous comestible -- raw meat.
He does partake of other dog-favorites like other species' scat, very ripe road kill, and anything left unguarded on the counter.