The Name of This Post is Talking Dogs

WHAT I WISH I HAD NAMED MY DOG, BECAUSE THAT NAME WOULD MAKE ME SEEM CLEVER(ER), AND "Brutus" IS KIND OF BORING, THOUGH NOT A BAD AS "Spot" OR "Rex":
(IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER)

1. BUCEPHALUS. Greek for "Big ol' Head." If you'd seen him, you'd understand.
2. HASENPFEFFER. And I would say it like the king in the Bugs Bunny cartoon, every single time.
3. HAIR OF... Get it? snork, snork. Okay, but I think it's funny, and he's my dog, so shut up.
4. MERGATROID.
5. AMBASSADOR.
6. *ERIC. "Are all your pets named Eric?" "Kamal Attaturk had an entire menagerie named Abdul."
6b. ABDUL. (this wasn't on my list when I started it, I just thought of it).
7. MEGAHERTZ.
8. COMA .
9. SIRIUS.
10. GUMP.

ALTERNATIVELY, THINGS I SHOULD HAVE NAMED MY DOG BECAUSE THEY'RE WHAT I ACTUALLY CALL HIM:
(IN DESCENDING ORDER OF FREQUENCY)

1. You.
2. SHUT UP!
3. &*$%^#@ (Usually swearing, but also a good approximation of apoplectic gargling sounds I make when I'm angry.)
4. No.
5. GET DOWN.
6. Dammit.
7. Sh##head
8. Dumba&&
9. Idjit
10. Brutappotamus.
11. Pig.
12. Lump (This is actually what my Dad calls him, but I started using it too.)

*"Eric" is a reference to the Cat License skit from Monty Python. We had a wonderful cat named Eric, for that very reason, yet we never could remember to name our other pets Eric.
**I just noticed that the last item on both lists rhyme. This is entirely coincidental.