Thursday, February 25, 2010

The Crabapple Cove Courier

Couldn't find a photo of him reading the paper.

I read yesterday's paper this morning. I often delay the pleasure because there are only three per week, actually because I often forget what day it is. Anyway.

The choice item yesterday/today (WHATEVER) is this classified notice :

"Epson Printer/Scanner
scanner works great,
printer doesn't work
the greatest, been
told it is something
simple if you know
what to do $40 o.b.o.
[tel #]"

1. After you read it a couple of times, it's like haiku.
2. Small town newspapers rock.
3. Hawkeye would definitely read this one out loud.
4. I bet I could fix it.

{Sip coffee.}

1. Who told him it was something simple?
2. Did anyone proofread this and gently suggest different wording?
3. Will he get more than one offer?
4. What would my $ offer be?

{Sip coffee.}

Sanity, i.e. meds reasserting executive function:
1. I don't need a printer.
2. I would never get around to fixing it.
3. I have plenty of broken stuff already.
4. I'm broke.

Bonus points if you comment in haiku form. This means you, Rae.

Friday, February 19, 2010

My Valentine

I sat down next to The Him at his desk and asked him to bring up a photo he has on his laptop. (He is very obliging.) As he was tapping away I noticed he was shifting in his chair to block the blast of sunlight pouring over his shoulder from the east-facing window, so that he could see his computer screen.
You have to nip this sort of thing in the bud.
"I am not hanging curtains in that window until you put the casing around it," I responded firmly. I was perfectly pleasant about it.
"I haven't asked you to...did I say anything? I did not even say anything. No, " He protested.
"A good wife..." I started to say --
feeling the faintest twitch in the musculature of his arm, I quickly added, "LIKE ME --anticipates her husband's needs..."
At which point we both leapt on the obvious conclusion like cheetahs on a wildebeest,
"So that she can deny them immediately."
I love this man.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

And Then What Happened: Part Second

So, Tuesday's to do list was :
1. Bury the dog.
2. Dentist appointment.

Can I have your pity now? K, Thanx. #2 didn't really bother me, but it sounds pitiful so I threw it in.

This past weekend Lucy developed a paralysis of one of her hind legs, a result of nerve damage from an old back injury. Since she was 17, blind, deaf, confused, and toothless -- I wavered only because she was, despite all of that, apparently happy and not in pain -- I decided that crippled was one decline too many, and made the decision to euthanize her.

The Him and I were out at first light digging a grave out back where our other bygone pets are interred. Thinking of that departed host I sniffled, "I hope that Dog Heaven is pretty close to where I'm staying, because I'll be visiting a lot." He smiled sadly. He feels my pain, but he is an atheist, so he can't really say, "of course."
I like to tweak him about it.

"You, on the other hand," I said, "will be in Hell. With the cats."

Rest in Peace, Lucy. You've earned it.