Friday, February 20, 2009

Mayhem in ImaginationLand

I've resisted posting about Tigrrrl's antics because I swore to myself that I wouldn't, and I struggled mightily to resist but as it turns out, here I am exploiting my child. I promise this will be the ONE AND ONLY time. I've made a deal with Rae at Us In Tejas. She will handle future Tigrrrrl awesomeness, and I will preserve the fiction of parental responsibility.

But just this once.

FYI: a) I did ask for, and receive, the author's release for the short story. Not the vocabulary list, but I feel that was implied; b) all spelling and punctuation (including quotation marks) is true to original; c) we recently watched The Civil War as part of American History, and are covering Ancient Greece and Ancient Rome this month, along with the Civil Rights Movement;
d) Tigrrrl refers to her own private world as ImaginationLand. Where animals talk, women wear whatever they please any time of day, words may sound like English but have meanings known only to native speakers, and men are accessories. Also beads and sequins are major food groups.

First, "Use the word in a sentence" exercise from 2/06/09

1. Interrupt: "Do Not interupt Me, John."
2. Support: "Why did you support Them, Bregro?"
3. License: "Show me your license."
4. Cunning: "You Ain't As cunning As my cat, Bob."
5. Marriage: "Marriage is a Pain, Carol, I Know That."
6. Publish: "You Ai'nt gonna Publish No book, even in Fifty years."
7. Minimum: "Your Minimum is just one I bet."
8. Supply: "Don't you dare supply Them with ammo!"
9. Naturally: " Naturally, it'd be Nice if you were gone, Troy."
10. Bluff: "You are Soooooo gonna have To bluff, Cassie."

Points for use of contractions, and a fine ear for dialect. We'll work on "ain't" and "gonna" next week.
#1. John must be her future husband.
#2 " Them" is possibly a new political party in ImaginationLand. There are several already. Bregro is a new stuffed animal who is currently headlining in her war games --I mean fantasy world.
#3 The light was yellow when I entered the intersection. ALCOHOL NOT A FACTOR
#4 "But then so few people are, Bob."
#5 This is fiction, right? Therapy will help, right? Maybe Carol is Bob's wife.
#6 I take this personally, since i'm the only aspiring writer in the house. Not only will she publish before me, she might have a Pulitzer before she finishes college.
#7 I really hope she's not taunting Bob and Carol about their inability to hold their liquor.
#8 An alarming turn of events. Looks like Them is trying to stage a coup.
#9 Troy is either her second husband, or the captured leader of Them. I'm guessing about this. I'm afraid to ask for clarification, don't want to open that whole Extraordinary Rendition/ Waterboarding can of worms again.
#10 Poor Cassie. You are in soooooo far over your head.

In some ways being her teacher sucks, because I have to correct things like spelling, grammar, capitalization, and punctuation, and who wants to mess with this kind of perfection?
And it's obvious I'll be scheduling a parent-teacher conference for a little chat about some more therapy sessions with Dr. Pat. Homeschooling is not for the faint of heart.

Next, A vocabulary exercise from 2/13/09, "Use five of this week's words in a story." FYI: We do not live in or near Tulsa. We have never lived there. We do not know anyone who lives there. Ditto Oklahoma. Okay, She has a great-uncle in Tahlequah, but that's a stretch. We live far, far east of the Mississippi. Why Tulsa?

Let me set the stage first. Here's what I'm picturing:
Late afternoon settling into dusk. Action: A crowd of townspeople carrying torches and pitchforks, led by our protagonist Bregro- a sergeant in the local National Guard unit, "Sarge" to his friends -- has laid siege to the IRS office.
In Tulsa, Oklahoma.
"I'm To struggle To Adjust To This New Tax?!" said The sergant. "am I To suffer unwillingly and unneedingly?!" He said. "You government Tax People are just Plain vulgar, no other word for you!?" said a woman in The crowd. "You Tax People are unjust!" said a 15 year old boy. "Obama must Change Tax amounts or we strike!" said The Mayor. The result of That day was agonizing.
[the last she threw in for extra credit. She can count to 5, I promise]
Here I thought she didn't pay any attention when I listen to NPR. In six sentences we have unfair treatment of military personnel, class warfare, the rise of political consciousness among the nation's youth, pressures of interest groups on the transitioning administration, labor activism (or possibly civil disobedience), the influence of local government in the democratic process, and lastly, historical commentary.
I think I'll put off teaching about the French Revolution for a couple more years.

The storming of the Bastille.


  1. Well, I'm not sure which of your blogs to post a comment on, but I choose this one.

    Really? You really like those tiles? C'mon. I mean, I think I'm pretty good at accepting all things retro and vintage and glyph-y and all. But these are ...terrible!!!

    They are so terrible that I am willing to put a bad 80s rooster potholder over at least one, because that's all I had, and bad rooster trumps migraine herbs.

    Anyway, I like the work of your child. Many Adults do not Realize that just because a word is Important to you, you still can't Capitalize it any time you Want. Why should a child? Not that it isn't your Sad duty to correct...


  2. Rae -- she's working on the first question. Can't wait.

    Leila -- I honestly do like those little icky tiles. But I agree they're icky. I have a cracked sense of humor, or maybe the challenge of making them appealing is what intrigues me. I'd probably collage them with some photos of pimiento cheese with green olives, and maybe some baby gherkins on frilly toothpicks. The fun, of course, would be chipping them out of the wall...(the tiles, not the gherkins)

  3. I have to say, outside of my awesome dream about Gerard Butler last night, this post is the best thing I've been exposed to in a long time. Pure comedy genius! Your daughter has inherited your talent as well. You should take this show on the road. Thanks for the laughs--I'm going to start stalki-er, I mean, following you now.